15 August: 11-test3-W1

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal葡萄牙 between 1967 and 2007.

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剑桥雅思11 Test3 小作文解析

分段:增减趋势分为两段。描述错误,交点没有说。七类数据:起点,终点,变化趋势,转折点,极值,等值,倍数关系。

The line graph compares average carbon dioxide emissions per capita in four European countries within 40 years.

As we can see from the line graph that the United Kingdom and Sweden show an downward trend in per capita CO2 emissions. The average emissions of UK consistently declined over the 40-year period, compared to that of Sweden had increased by 1977 and then fell to just over 5 metric tonnes in 2007. Despite of the downward trend, the United Kingdom still discharged the most CO2 of four countries.

On the other hand, the other two countries experienced a similar upward trends. In 1967, Portugal had the lowest CO2 released just over 1 metric tonne, far lower than other countries. Meanwhile, the CO2 released per capita in Portugal was the lowest each Portuguese emitted the lowest amount of CO2 throughout the period. The emissions of carbon dioxide of these two countries had slightly rose to 7.6 metric tonnes and just over 5 tonnes, respectively by 1997. Then CO2 emissions remained stable at the same level from 1997 to 2007. In 2007, a striking feature however, was that Sweden and Portugal discharged the equal number amount of CO2 emissions.

  1. co2 emissions Un.  CO2 released/emitted              v. discharge/exhaust/drain 排放/emitted发出,射出,散发(光、噪声、气味或气体); exhaust 没有动词 ‘排放’的意思    v. 用完,耗尽,使精疲力竭,使疲惫不堪。n. (汽车/引擎)废气,尾气;排气管;car/automobile exhaust fumes汽车尾气/emissions 排放物
  2. per person ~ per capita /pə ˈkæp.ɪ.tə/ ; 人均    e.g. The per capita income in the country is very low.
  3. between .. and ..;  from .. to ..; in/at the beginning; at the end of the time period; across the whole period; throughout the period. within 10 years; over the 10-year period;
  4. experience an increase; saw an opposite trend; saw a significant increase; experience a sharp rose from to..
  5. in spite of ~ despite ~ although ~ even though        despite no dispite prep.介词: 不管;尽管;无论            e.g. I still enjoyed the week despite the weather.   Despite repeated assurances that the product is safe, many people have stopped buying it.    [ + -ing verb ] He managed to eat a big lunch despite having eaten an enormous breakfast.                                                                          In spite of and despite     Despite is a little more formal than in spite of;  + n/doing sth; don’t use a that-clause, but could use in spite of/ despite the fact that;
  6.  compare VT: If you compare house prices in the two areas, it’s quite amazing how different they are.  Compare some recent work with your older stuff and you’ll see how much you’ve improved.  This road is quite busy compared to/with ours.   Children seem to learn more interesting things compared to/with when we were at school.
  7. 单位单复数问题: million, thousand, hundred 前面有数值时,必须为单数形式。   e.g.  2 million; 90 billion; 3 score(20) eggs = 60个 ;    表泛指时,必须加S 和 of, dozens of times/ millions of students;       当这些词与 a few, several, many 等数目不很具体的词连用时,带不带复数词尾 -s 均可,但是注意:若不带复数词 -s, 其后的介词 of 可以省略;若带复数词尾-s, 则其后介词 of 不能省略    There I saw several hundred(s) of foreign guests.  There I saw several hundred foreign guests.                                                        但是单位,euro/dollar/ ton/tonne/ kilometer/ meter. 在>1 个时为复数, 3 metric tonnes. 4 euros. 不要弄混了。
  8. Amount of, number of or quantity of?      amount of + uncountable nouns; number of + countable nouns; quantity of /quantities of – more formal + uncountable or countable nouns.    the figure for countable/uncountable.
  9. United Kingdom-a BritonBritish pl 统称 英国人; Sweden-a Swede+s; Italy- an Italian; ‘Portugal– a ‘Portuguese; Spain-a Spaniard /ˈspæn.jəd/ -Spanish;

Sample answer:

The line graph gives information about the amounts of CO2 released per capita in four European countries from 1967 to 2007.

Of the four countries, Portugal and Italy experienced increases in their CO2 emissions. In 1967, the quantity for per person in Italy was 4.3 metric tonnes, while that of Portugal was only 1.3. There were similar upward trends in CO2 emissions in the two countries until 2007, when the figures for Italy and Portugal reached 6.7 and 5.4 respectively. Noticeably, the CO2 release per capita in Portugal was the lowest of all four countries throughout the period.

On the other hand, each Briton and each Swede emitted less CO2 on average at the end of the time period than at the beginning(a downward trend 的另一种表述方式). The amount for Britons had remained the highest across the whole period. It started at 10.9 and declined steadily to 8.7. The figure for Swedes rose from 8.7 in 1967 to 10.3 in 1977, but saw a drastic/dramatic fall thereafter. It declined below the figure for Italians after 1990 and reached 5.4 in 2007.

In sum, each person in Portugal and Sweden had released widely differing amounts of CO2, but the amounts converged until they equaled in 2007.(201词,后面有字数的分析)

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针对范文,不少同学会有疑问:怎么写到了201词?

事实上,大部分的雅思图表作文,都是无法用150词将要求的信息点写完的。剑桥雅思中的考官范文只有极少是略多于150词写完的,一些范文甚至超过了220词(剑桥雅思10 Test 2)。但是考鸭们无须紧张,因为那都是按照9分的标准来写的。遗漏少量信息点,再犯一些词汇、语法错误,结构再出一点问题,就6分了。


Sample answer: a band 6 score

  1. reported all the data and provides summaries of the main trends.  also has attempts at comparison, but there’s some irrelevant material in the final paragraph.
  2. clear overall progression, with some use of cohesive devices.
  3. the range of lexis is adequate and appropriate. but some errors in word choice and spelling.
  4. some attempts to produce complex sentence forms, with good control over grammatical accuracy. 如果句式和表述再多样一些,可以得更高的分数。

The graph shows the changes in the emissions of carbon dioxide in 4 European countries in the period from 1967 to 2007.

The production emissions of carbon dioxide in Portugal and Italy were steadily increasing during that period. In 1967 emission of carbon dioxide in Portugal was approximately 1.3 metric tonnes and in 2007 the emission achieved 5.4. In Italy in at the beginning of the period it was a bit higher than 4. However, it increased only till 7.8 by 2007.

By contrast, each Briton and each Swede emitted less CO2 at the end of the time period than at the beginning. The emissions of carbon dioxide in United Kingdom and Sweden were under decrease during that period of time避免了和上一段的句式重复. The emission of carbon dioxide in United Kingdom in 1967 was the highest one among all these 4 countries (about 11). But after 1967, it gradually decreased to about 9. Each Swede discharged around 8.6 in the beginning, then it steadily increased till 10.5. However, in 1997 it got tremendous decrease in the emission of carbon dioxide which underwent->continued till 2007. In 2007 the emission in Sweden was at the same level with Portugal – around 5.4-5.6 句式有些单调. In 2007, a striking feature however, was that Sweden reached the same lever with Portugal in CO2 emission.

The changes in emission of carbon dioxide can be connected with the changes in economical development and appearance of some new technologies which reduce emissions.  不需要你加入主观推测,只需要描述数据就好了!

  1. at the beginning与in the beginning一样吗?
  2. can be connected with sth.

 

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