26 March: ielts12-test5-W2

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be share freely.

Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

Sharing our information (少谓语) in scientific research, business and the academic world, which some people think it(no contractions) good, because it can boost scientific developing, business prosperous and academic advancement (change to ‘scientific development, commercial prosperity and academic progress’); (the punctuation need to be right. change to ‘.’) but (However, ) others think its not good, as those information (+ of sth, 这句话里的those 和 their 没有指代的地方,如果their 指代的是information的话,那么应该改为its) is the fortunes (change to ‘assets’, asset: a useful or valuable thing, person, or quality. What is the difference between asset and property and fortune and estate) of their owners, and the owners have the right to manage their information and decide whether to share freely. In my view, because (由于because的引导,导致没有主句,只有从句) it can make relevent (relevant) fields advanced (advance) rapidly, and cooperately (cooperate) efficiently.

The supporters think, that every field contact (change to ‘communicate’. contact: [VT] to communicate with someone by calling or sending them a letter, email, etc. communicate: [ I or T ] to share information with others by speaking, writing, moving your body, or using other signals) more and more frequently, (.) their research fields may contain other research fields thus, they need more information about other fields and its field. (Crossing disciplines require more types of scientific information rather than just one field, which help them to catch the up-to-date research points and develop new ideas.) They may catch the newest research point and develp (develop) new ideas. For example, scientists can develop a new product through cooperation; businessman can keep a good relationship with their partners, if they deny sharing information. its possiblely (possibly) causing blocks (a gulf) between them (if they denied sharing information, it will possibly cause a gulf between them.). as (As) for business man (businessman), the prices of their products may rise, and this will harm consumers.

And the opponents believe that some information in their field is very intelligent(智能?使用valuable or other adjectives. ), and it relates with their core interests. For example, a company develops a product, and this company has the right of the knowledge(很奇怪,但是我不知道怎么改). If they share more products‘ information (more technique details of their product) with others, the company may loose competition advantage (lose competitive advantage) in a addition. There are more and more illegal actions which (like) coping others’ information without permission. and this will cause owers loose the interests and reputation. (without permission, which may cause the inventors lose their interests and reputation) 

But, in my opinion, we should share more information with others under the situation that do not harm our interests. For example, BaiDu (Baidu) company, it opens many application interfaces to sociaty(society), and (so) many students and new learners can rapidly aquire(quickly acquire. rapidly 应该是修饰趋势,动作,can acquire relevant knowledge quickly) relevant knowledge. They will earn money by themselves rapidly. it benefits socialty developing(society development). (They could earn money rapidly which benefits society development.)

Problem:

  1. 标点符号不标准;拼写错误和语法错误偏多。
  2. 用词不准确且单一。多处为同一表述,如information, for example。句子之间缺乏一些连接词。
  3. 论证不充分,但是这是我们共有的问题,需要积累多看多练习。

共有的拼写错误: society—-social; acquire.

 

 

 

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